My Tango Dance with Star and Student

I have been many things in this lifetime—a broadcast media salesperson, a banker, an entrepreneur… I have cofounded an energy efficiency training center and have danced and sang on stage. But my greatest professional aspiration is to become a published writer. This is the call I hear. Sometimes it is so faint it is easy to ignore. Other times it is so loud that I tune it out in order to stay sane. That’s what I tell myself anyway.

You see, the type of writing I seek to publish has nothing to do with making lots of money or being famous. Okay maybe there’s a little desire for fame, but that desire is also a bit paralyzing. I like my un-famous life. To be seen and appreciated for one’s insight might seem like a desire for fame, but I think this desire is different enough to call it something like Mass Recognition instead of fame.

And to be seen and appreciated for one’s insight, which may very well be the goal of humanity, is so precarious that the desire must be carefully balanced with humility. After all, where does insight originate if not with the Creator? It is as though I have within me two tango dancers—Star and Student—and just when Star thinks she has something innovative to perform, Student redirects her to study yet another subtle nuance of this dance called life. There but for the grace of God … go I?

It took me twelve years to self-publish my memoir, Thirsty: Journaling to Survive, Thrive and Feel Alive. Twelve years, but I did get it done! And, truth be told, it was four months of intensity in 1999 and another four months of intensity in 2011 with varying degrees of angst over the interim.

The good thing is that by self-publishing this book, even if I am not doing much to promote it, I was freed up of the energy from all of the stories I had previously been holding inside.

To me, publishing is the final frontier where the student of life can shine like a star. As a life long journal writer, I understand and deeply appreciate reflective writing. Yet the deepest healing comes through the act of been seen and understood by others. And when one’s life has been a struggle to be seen and understood, her published words have meaning beyond any fame or fortune.

There are many specifics of my life that are important to share. The most pressing is to note here that I named my current business Inner Fortune. I wouldn’t want to miss the connection to my last statement about published words having meaning beyond any fame or fortune and the intention behind the name Inner Fortune.

And my statement of one’s life being a struggle to be seen and understood has resonance with a great many women. For centuries, if not millennia, women have supported their family, particularly their husband, physically, mentally and spiritually while men received substantially more recognition for supporting their family economically. As a young child, raised in an era where kids were meant to be seen and not heard, I understood this unfairness even though I had no words to express it.

Self-exploration is the general goal of journaling; the more one reflects, the more intrigued he or she gets about things and other people. The more intrigued we are, the more we realize how much we have to learn. In a way, this process is never complete, always spiraling upward or downward toward order or disorder – like housework, like any selfless expenditure of energy. But journaling doesn’t have to be deep, soul-searching labor; it can be an amazingly enjoyable and thrill-seeking ride of creative exploration. And, with practice, it can be a self-directed harnessing of abundance.

Continuing to explore increases the creative juices, which can get bottled up if not expressed in some form or fashion, preferably to an audience that understands and appreciates the creation in like measure as the author. Why are so many people writing blogs, speaking wherever they can and self-publishing books 3400% more now than three years ago? To keep exploring their edges and come ever closer to understanding the great mysteries of life!

Being seen by Andrea Hylen, founder of Heal My Voice, I’ve become aware of the author within me. I have written well over a million words in my journals and have been happily transformed countless times in the process. I’m ready to go the next distance … to learn still more about resistance and persistence; to package and present my insights, with love, for kindred explorers; to evoke resonance so strong and so deep that we all feel seen and heard. The dance of Star and Student continues!
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Karen Ribeiro teaches the art of reflection in order to enhance joy and passion in life and business. Writing her memoir, Thirsty: Journaling to Survive, Thrive and Feel Alive was a twelve-year lesson in resolve and emergence. She is a former renewable energy manager, banker, and advertising executive who loves to reframe challenges and lighten the load for her clients. The next big dream is to certify and officially launch her Inner Fortune “attunement” system. Karen lives with her high school sweetheart and two teenage children in Western Massachusetts and can be reached online: www.innerfortune.com Facebook.com/innerfortune and Twitter: @innerfortune